Sometimes I feel I must be
An alien in my own body

Why else then I not
Listen to its pounding heart
Pleading for me to calm
The rage I fail to guard
Until its fist I hurt hard

Why else then I not
Rest the weary brain
From endless tiring thoughts
Of “What Ifs” from the past
And wishes yet to be cast

Sometimes I feel I must be
An alien in my own body

Standing amongst the
snow-clad mountains
soaking in waters of
the holiest rivers
bowing down in the
tallest of the temples
singing  hymns in the
most silent shrines

None of this alone
nor any deed
no single thought
neither any trick
can bring peace
to the mind that
rues the past
revels the future

But the one who
surrenders to what is
the present moment
in all its glory
can find inner peace
to forge actions
to change the self
and with it the world

To the hands that planted
To the eyes that nourished
To the muscles that carried
To the strength that grounded
To the mind that imagined
To the effort that gathered
To the diligence that cooked
To the attention that served
And to the infinite energies
Of Earth, air, water, and light
That preserved and flourished
Many a generation of greens
From whom the seeds were born
Thus this meal was formed
To all of them I sound
Stream of happiness unbound.

The Sanskrit phrase अन्नदाता सुखी भव (Anna data sukhi bhava) literally translates to “Those who are providing me with this food, let them be happy.”

I am not my body
that I cling to
but instead
let me dissolve
like the air that
in any shape can grew.

I am not my feelings
worn out by weight
but instead
let me float
like a feather
free from any freight

I am not my perceptions
coloring my judgement
but instead
let me disappear
like the glass that shares
all light without abatement

I am not my intentions
Nor the dreams they hound
but instead
let me be content
like the still water
steady in the sound

I am not my consciousness
molding a mirage wholesome
but instead
let me expand
like the rain drop that falls
to one with the ocean become.

Like we disregard the sensations within a dream as unreal, the sages of Upanishads discarded everything that was in a constant process of change as unreal. Their principle was neti, neti atma: “this is not the self, that is not the self”. When you dig into your own personality deeper, you find layers of perceptions, thoughts, emotions, drives, and memories. The sages found that none of this is permanent. In their search for a constant, they defined what was left – the intense awareness – as the atman, the Self.

When after worthless wars
And losses unknown
We draw imaginary lines
To mark our own

When after earning the alms
And growing it many fold
Still sleepless we count
Our neighbor’s gold

When in need to be faultless
Photoshop and filters we use
Our very own reality
Is what we abuse

When yet again we choose
To sever from a mate
Slicing the once beloved
With words of hate

Then a desire is met with
and a wish appears to be granted
Only to spawn another longing
For a thing we never wanted.

The Sanksrit word samskara literally means “that which is intensely done”. Samskaras are thought, speech, or behavior motivated by desire to get some experience for oneself. It is one of the five ingredients Buddha uses to describe personality. The others are rupa (form), vedana (sensation or feeling), samjna (perception), and vijnana (consciousness).

Much like the wind
that powers the sails
for the soul lost at sea
seeking a refuge
until the shores
yet to be discovered
are no longer in wait,
the desires deep down,
known and unknown,
seek a destiny
in an entangled world
of cause and effects
until a sigh rests
in the arms that await.

Text from Brihadaranyaka Upanishad IV.4.5

अथो खल्वाहुः काममय एवायं पुरुष इति स यथाकामो भवति तत्क्रतुर्भवति यत्क्रतुर्भवति तत्कर्म कुरुते यत्कर्म कुरुते तदभिसम्पद्यते

And here they say that a person consists of desires. And as is his desire, so is his will; and as is his will, so is his deed; and whatever deed he does, that he will reap.